So here I am…

Hi! Wow, my first ever blog post.

This is more difficult than I first thought – trying to figure out what to say about myself. To think I was stumped on what would have been an easy paragraph for me ten years ago….

The ABOUT ME section. Ten years ago it would have been an easy description.  I was young, nearly out of school, no kids, dreams galore! I wanted to be things, I wanted to do things.

I had my friends, my hobbies, my little part time job.  I really took those years for granted having limited responsibilities and ample opportunity to make something of myself.

I met my now Husband then.  I was fourteen.  He knocked me for six, and that’s an understatement.  I know it sounds so cliche` – high school sweethearts and all that jazz – but he really did blow me away.

 

It was not your typical high school romance.  He was leaving school to join the Army and from a month or so in, we had a long distance relationship happening after he enlisted. In the age of technology, with phones and social media etc, we were thrust back into the old fashioned forms of communication – and I bloody loved it.

We wrote these beautiful letters, intimate and romantic and hopeful letters to each other that we would wait weeks to get.  It was exhilarating. I remember running home after school to the phone ringing and screaming at my siblings not to answer it in case it was him.  We would spend what little time we had to speak just laughing and describing our days, it was bliss.

By the end of 2008 we had established a pretty solid relationship, even having been apart for majority of the time.  I would take the bus to North Queensland, and spend weekends in Townsville, and other times he would travel home.  Those small weekends away were amazing, it really is  true when they say absence makes the heart grow fonder.  The more I think about it, I was 17 years old – I really have two amazing parents who supported the fact my relationship was real – and not some romanticized high school fling.  I think looking back my Mum and Dad saw in Alex what I did.  That he was legitimately more mature than most boys my age, and that we were working toward the ultimate goal of a life together.  It’s so cool that they allowed us the chance to let that grow…They even celebrated with us when Alex went directly to my father at age 17 and asked to marry me….My Dad remained cool calm and collected, shook his hand and said of course.  See what I mean?  They were so comfortable with him, they just knew he was something else….A YOUNG MAN. The part of all of this that I love most, is that they trusted my judgment – and still do to this day. So there we were – 17 and now engaged!

School ended, I graduated, and after a final Christmas at home I was in the car and off to start my life on the 1st of Jan 2009.  And we have not looked back.

Within a week of living in Townsville I had obtained my license and a full time job.  I had a goal and didn’t stop until I had what I needed to live freely without my parents. Freshly 17 only 3 months before, and I was officially on my own, making my own money and depending on myself.  It’s important to me that I was not going to live off Alex and his career – I had things I wanted to do. So branched into the Information Technology field and started a traineeship.

Within four months Alex was deployed to East Timor – now that sucked.  He was gone for 7 months – and having known no one yet in Townsville I really was left alone.  The first few weeks I barely ate, just went to work and came back to our apartment. It was shit.  I was lonely, scared, and just couldn’t get used to the limited contact.  I thought I could handle long distance before but this was somewhat different.  I think it affected us both – but we stayed in contact best we could, writing letters again and we had the chance to use Skype on the odd occasion.

October 09 he was home for 2 weeks for respite – we had our engagement party and our worlds were really starting to intertwine.  His family and friends becoming mine, and mine his. We had such a great night, and the joining of our families was a smooth one.  I think people still look back at that night with laughter and fondness, we were pretty lucky.

After Christmas that year, Alex was told he would be beginning training to be deployed to Afghanistan in 2011.  Not long after this, we found out we were pregnant with our first child Henry.  Holy. Shit. We were 18.  I was about to become a mother.  Fuck.  It was a scary as all hell time.  I was with my friend Danielle, our partners were on a training exercise for the weekend, and we were having dinner at her house.  We were jokingly talking about how Alex and I had BRIEFLY discussed having a baby – and she laughed and said go do a test.  Danielle and her husband already had a little boy, so she was well versed in parenting, and first time parenting at that.

Off i toddle to the loo – peed on a stick and that was that.  Those two lines came up and I pretty much fell down.  It was a huge – oh fuck – moment.  A happy/scared/worried/happy/freaking-the-fuck-out moment. We screamed, we laughed, we jumped up and down. We called my mum – we called my best friend.  Then we thought – shit! We need to tell Alex!  So we called him too.  I had no idea if that was the right way to tell him but it would have been two more days until I’d see him and anyone who knows me knows I just can’t keep my personal shit personal.  So out I went with it – and he was stoked.

We brought the wedding forward so I wasn’t going to have a huge belly in my already purchased dress – and we were wed on a gorgeous north Queensland afternoon in Late May 2010.  As you can see, we take every occasion extremely seriously.  It was a great party!12963500_247593905587430_3700238749850897317_n

Fast forward through an awesome pregnancy – and we have Henry. Here he is now – he will be 6 in October.

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HENRY

Henry was 8 months old when Alex was deployed again – to Afghanistan.  This time it was harder to say goodbye, but easier to deal with.  I was so busy! Too busy to cry, to think about where he was going. The time literally flew! by September we were reunited for two weeks – Henry and I flew to Germany to meet Alex – and we spent two amazing weeks traveling the countryside and being together.  We have a lot to thank the Army for.  We were given some incredible opportunities that most 20 year olds would only have dreamed of.  So we were freshly married, fresh parents, and had some cash.  We took advantage of it, and due to where Alex was having to return to after the two weeks, we were sure to enjoy every minute of our time together.

He returned back to Afghanistan for another 3 months, until we were finally back together again.  We had exhausted the defence force of all it could do for us now, so Alex discharged and we moved back home to Central Queensland, where our adventures began.
We began to live the normal civilian lifestyle again – with normal jobs, normal hours and home every night.  Things were going pretty well!

And in April 2013, we were surprised to know that we were pregnant again with our beautiful daughter Lucy – who would grace us with her presence in January of 2014.  She is a spitfire.  A rough-as-guts little girl.  Who keeps us on our toes DAILY.  But a genuine sweetheart too.  She is almost 3 years old.  Her birth turned our world upside down – made it busier and fuller! Lucy has shown us another side to parenting.  We didn’t think we could love another child after having Henry – but she has opened our hearts again.  Five minutes with her and life just seems better.

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Now – originally – Alex and I were only planning to have one child.  Then we got two, and we had discussed the possibility of having a third.  It was definitely NOT something we had put into the 10 year plan.  Our life seemed pretty complete.  We didn’t have the feeling like anything was missing.  We could happily have continued on as a fmaily of four.

It wasn’t until we began our hunt to purchase our own home, that we were faced with the fact yet again – Kim’s pregnant.

We had finally saved enough money for a deposit on our own home. Arguably the biggest and most insane financial decision we would ever make.  2 weeks before we go to put an offer down on a house and the stick shows up those two friggen lines.

I’m not going to lie – I was pissed off.  How could we have been so silly? When did it happen? Which time were we not careful enough? How the fuck is this happening again, we were sure we had taken proper precautions.  But, low and behold, I was bloody pregnant, and this one was definitely sticking.  We had a huge choice to make.  Continue on and buy the house (possibly be broke forever) and struggle with three kids?! Or stay where we were, renting from my parents, and live a somewhat comfortable lifestyle with three kids?

Look, Alex and I never take the easy way.  We wanted our own home.  We wanted the kids to know we had worked our asses off for something and we bloody well got it. Life is hard.  Its is so damn hard.  But we saved for years, and we were on the cusp of owning it for ourselves.  So you know what? We just did it.  We bought the house, and we were having the baby.

I was terrified.  Two kids was hard.  But three? THREE? We would be outnumbered! We would have to handle them all during outings? Do we get a double pram? Do we get a baby carrier? Do we need a bigger car? Fuck! What if its a bad baby? What if it doesn’t sleep? What if I can’t breastfeed, what if the other two don’t cope? I had all these thoughts going through my head the whole pregnancy, I almost forgot to enjoy it….

But then….Harrison was born.

My fears fell away.  He was perfection.  He sleeps well, eats well, laughs more than I thought normal for an infant.  He emits this light that has brought me into a world again that I didn’t know existed.  I’m not stressed with him.  I truly, truly enjoy my time with him. Late nights, early mornings, he makes the ride worth it.  They say your third baby is the one that makes you.  And holy shit.

I’m made.

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This blog is something I am putting together as a construction of my life. I wanted to have somewhere to share my experiences.  I was thinking while writing this opening post that there has to be something that differentiates me from being a mum and wife.

But you know what – there’s not.  And that’s OK.

I was put on this earth for three, very important reasons.

I hope I can measure up to what they need me to be…

Also – it ain’t so scary.

Kim x

 

3 thoughts on “So here I am…

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