My month as a ‘Sole Parent’

Ok – I’ve been quiet yet again, our life has been cray cray! But lots has been happening and to be honest I need to vent the shit out of it. 

For the next four weeks, I will be a sole parent to our darling munchkins while Alex is off training in Sydney with the ADF. Fuck. My. Life. 

Initially I was excited. We will get a bit of extra $$, hopefully do a few things around the house, and to be honest, I did think it would do some good to have some time apart, because let’s face it – distance does make the heart grow fonder. We’ve been married 7 years this month (whaaaaaat?! When did that happen?!) and I’m guessing we will be pretty happy to see each other at the end of this. 

Fast forward 1 week and 5 days (Yes I’m counting shut up) AND FUCK ME IM DONE. CANT DO IT. NUP. NOPE. 

Yes, yes. I’m still dramatic.  But seriously once you read what’s gone down in the last 12 days you’ll pass the wine. 

SO. We say goodbye, All is well, kids are fine, we all sleep well the Friday evening, have a bit planned for that first weekend etc etc. my darling BFF Sam casually says to me the next day (while we baked her beautiful daughters 3rd birthday cake and simultaneously eat 5 different batters) “You’re going to rock this month without Alex.” 

We laughed, pretty much mum high fived because let’s face it, day one alone and I had this shit down. I smiled to myself and gave myself a personal pat on the back and thought of all the possibilities this month could bring. The routine I could hold over my offspring. The live my kids would have for me and the appreciation they would in turn spew on me. 

HAHAHAHA. 

Flick forward a few days and the kids get sick. Fuck yeah. Where’s the middle finger emoji when you need it after two hours sleep in 2 days and three kids who are more needy than a bunch of seagulls at the beach fangin for your hot chips and your soul. 

But again, we survived that. 

THEN – Mother’s Day. 

A day specifically set aside for me “yes yes I’m the only mum in the world in this particular sense lol) who should LEGALLY be allowed to do wtf I want and don’t judge me if i had a glass of wine at 9am it’s noon somewhere right? (Didn’t really happen but ya get me).
Anyway, so I felt kinda yuck that day, had a headache and made the great choice of staying home with the kids, watching movies and eating crap. They were ratty, they didn’t leave me be, we shared a cushion on the couch, it was hell. 😂 but then, Alex called and made me feel great and I felt my purpose again blah blah great mother cool.

Nighttime routine was semi successful, I get them all to bed, and finally lay my weary head on the pillow when Harrison begins screaming bloody murder. At this point, I’m done. I’m outskie. I’m so close to sleep and someone’s ripped it from my grasp, soooo I was a tad cranky. 

We get in the bath to calm him down, which worked a treat, and by the time we go to the couch to snuggle his little toe is the size of Texas and growing. THE FUCK?? 

Turns out he was bitten by a bloody spider (docs believe possibly a redback) and I have to drag three tired and cranky kids to the emergency room at midnight, cuz “Sole Parent for the month”. Don’t worry, I did try to call every possible person within a 20km radius to help me but everyone was conveniently in the lovely slumberland I so longingly wished for!

My wonderful parents answered and drove from Tannum to Gladstone to grab the other two while I sorted Harry out and we finally got sent home. 
He’s ok – which of course is the main thing but come the hell on, could this not have waited until I was at least with help? Apparently I’m being tested – I guess I passed though because all kids are happy and healthy, so SUCKED IN. CANT BEAT ME! 

*that was not a threat at all universe, simply stating I’ve overcome an obstacle, thank you for your wonderful universe-y self and all positive you bring to my life* 

Good save? 😏

Anyhoo. So we are nearing the end of our second week, I have 18 days until my darling husband is home, and trust me I am fucking counting. 

I think I am learning something though. I do have this. Sure I’m stressed and I’m craving wine the way you probably would a coffee, but that’s parenthood. It’s stressful and scary and there are moments (or in my case days) where you truly have no idea where you will pull your energy from, but I’ve gotten home this afternoon with three hilarious, wonderful and healthy kids. Who are polite and kind and happy. 

And for the next few weeks I’m totally gonna take all the credit – till hubs is home and I’ve gotta share it! 

Can I also just give a shout out to all the single parents out there. I truly, TRULY, take my hat off to you. This shit is hard! It’s really bloody hard. But can see how rewarding it could be too. 

Thanks for reading – I’ll be round more often I promise.  Here’s some happy snaps and a few gnarly ones of Hazzas foot 😅

– K. 

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